


Trust Me

by Celticmuse5



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Time, M/M, Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2011-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celticmuse5/pseuds/Celticmuse5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trust Me (This is Love)<br/>D. McTaggart & D. Tyson</p><p>I look at this mountain, so many heartaches wide.<br/>And I can’t help but wonder, where’s the other side?<br/>I’ve got to be honest, I’ve got my doubts.<br/>These tears are asking me, What’s this got to do with love.</p><p>Baby, I’ll tell you something to help us through this long dark night:</p><p>Chorus:<br/>When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.<br/>Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.<br/>You and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.<br/>It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby...this is love.</p><p>Love isn’t easy, I’m torn I confess.<br/>When a heart is uncertain, it’s bound to second-guess.<br/>This love won’t forsake us, so dry your tears, I promise you:</p><p>When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.<br/>Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.<br/>You and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.<br/>It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby...this is love.</p><p>I’m here for you baby. There’s nothing I want more.<br/>Our day is coming and we’ll reach that peaceful shore.</p><p>When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.<br/>Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.<br/>Cause you and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.<br/>It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby, this is love.</p><p>One more mountain; hey, so what?<br/>Trust me baby, this is love. Oh yes it is baby.</p><p>Recorded by Amanda Marshall. Used without permission. Available on “Amanda Marshall”, Epic Records.</p></blockquote>





	Trust Me

Blair Sandburg entered the loft at 852 Prospect, throwing keys in the basket and pushing the door shut with automatic movements. Tossing his jacket over the arm of the nearest couch, and moving with even more haste than usual, he went to the stereo set against one wall. Jamming the headphones onto his ears, he hit the power button, and cued up the CD player. Selecting Track 8 of the CD already in the machine and grabbing the liner notes from the open jewel case, he sank to the floor in front of the stereo system.

Jim would not take very long to go to the grocery store, perhaps 20 minutes if Blair were lucky. That gave him enough time to listen to the song twice, maybe three times before hitting the shower. Surely that would be enough to help him get his emotions back under control. If he couldn’t, he didn’t know what might come out of his mouth when Jim came back.

By the time the first strains of music flowed into his ears, he was much too focused on the music and his own emotions to register that he was no longer alone in the loft.

\-----------------------------

Jim Ellison entered the apartment just moments after Sandburg thrust on the headphones, trip to the store abandoned in the face of his partner’s obvious agitation.

‘Hell,’ he thought to himself, ‘I’d be a little more than agitated myself if I had just faced down two corrupt cops and their hyped druggie henchman with only a Ziploc bag of icing sugar to bargain with. I’d also be more than a little pissed off with my partner who zoned out in the middle of the whole thing and got himself taken hostage.’

Jim had been waiting for Sandburg to rag on him for the past three hours, ever since they had managed to capture the bad guys. But from the wrap-up at the scene, to the inevitable trip to the station to sacrifice a tree to the Gods of Triplicate Reporting, to the eerily silent trip back to the loft, Blair had gotten progressively more quiet and withdrawn, speaking only once in the truck to ask Jim to make a quick sortie on the grocery store, “so I can make that lasagna you like so much tomorrow night, man”.

Settling himself gingerly on the couch, trying to ignore the pull of muscles still stiff from spending a frustrating hour hog-tied to a goddamned forklift, Jim tuned in to his roommate. Blair sat on the floor in front of the stereo, legs pulled up to his chest, one arm wrapped around his knees while the other held up a small pamphlet. The headphones made a valiant attempt to restrain his hair, but it still twisted and twined its way to shield his face from Jim’s scrutiny. It was at moments like this that Jim suspected that one of the things Blair valued most about his hairstyle was its concealment aspect.

Having completed his visual inspection, Jim moved on to hearing. Blair’s heartbeat was racing, but not as much now as it had been when Jim listened in from the hallway a minute ago. His hearing also revealed that Blair was murmuring something under his breath, almost inaudibly. Jim turned up his hearing a notch, and finally caught a phrase or two: “when this trouble...you and I will...knowing that...survived another test of faith”. Realizing that Blair was singing along with the music he was listening to, Jim expanded his hearing slightly. He identified the singer as one he had heard occasionally when the radio in the truck tuned in to one of the stations broadcasting out of Canada, just a few hours to the north of Cascade. Amanda something or other. Singer/songwriter stuff, not his usual cup of tea, but good for all of that.

Now he tuned in to the music, and realized that Blair had set the system to repeat one piece over and over. Yeah, he knew this one. It was one of the best on the CD, and that was saying something. “Trust Me”. About a relationship challenged, but growing stronger for it. About working together to get through the things that life threw at you. _One more mountain; hey, so what? Trust me, baby, this is love._

Okay, it was a great song, but why had Sandburg practically left skid marks getting away from Jim to come and listen to it by himself? Repeatedly, no less. Blair was many things, but easy to entertain was not one of them. He was always looking for new stuff to do and hear and try, and he hardly ever even listened to an entire CD at one time, let alone played the same song again and again. Only time he had ever done that was when Maya had...

A thought occurred to Jim, and the force of it almost caused him to jump from the couch to pace the room. Only the knowledge that this action would alert Blair to his presence kept him still.

Could it be possible that Blair was comparing his relationship with Jim to the one in the song? That Blair was using the song to get over the fear he’d felt when Jim’s life had been threatened by Wilson Platt and his henchmen earlier that evening? For it had definitely been Jim whose life was in danger. Platt had not considered Blair to be any kind of a threat to his plans, had simply believed that a little money and a lot of coke would cause Blair to turn a blind eye to Jim’s intended demise. It was at times like that that Jim was infinitely grateful that he had been blessed with a partner who looked like the poster child for Narcotics Anonymous, and acted like McGruff the crime dog.

Shit, his brain was jumping around like Sandburg’s now. Stick to the issue at hand, Ellison. Could Blair be this upset simply because Jim had been in danger tonight? That would indicate a certain kind of emotion on Sandburg’s part, maybe even love.

Naw. No way. Blair Sandburg could not love Jim Ellison. Jim knew that Blair liked and respected him, but he could not possibly love him. It was beyond impossible.

And, really, that was a good thing. Life with Blair was complicated enough when the *only* relationships they were juggling were friends, roommates, work partners, Sentinel and Guide, and researcher and dissertation subject. Throw anything else into the mix, and it would all blow up in their faces, Jim was certain. Lord knows, if Jim had had his way, their primary relationship would be that of lovers, of life partners, but that was a dream, and Jim had left fantasy behind a long time ago, about the time he was twelve and had realized that no amount of wishing would return his mother to him.

Jim mentally shook his head, returning to the present moment in time to hear the final bars of the song for a third time. At first, he thought Blair was going to listen to it yet again. However, Jim watched as Blair took a deep breath, released it, and, checking his watch, climbed shakily to his feet. Pulling off the headphones, and turning off the stereo, Blair turned and moved to the balcony doors without noticing Jim frozen in place on the couch. Staring at his reflection in the glass door, Blair murmured something to himself. He was quiet enough that if Jim had been anywhere but in the same room, he would not have heard. He turned up his hearing to catch the softly spoken words.

“...am I going to do? If I stay, he’s definitely going to find out I love him, and I could lose it all. If I leave to keep our friendship alive, he could have a zone out in the field and die. And then I really will lose everything. But so will he.” Jim was stunned to realize that he had never heard Blair sound so desolate, not even in the wake of Maya’s leaving. He tuned back in.

“Well, Blair baby, when you put it that way, there’s really no question. Keep on keeping on. And when he finds out, maybe he’ll let you stay for the Guide stuff, even if the rest is...over.”

With a last glance at his reflection, Blair turned around, and stopped dead in his tracks. Jim sat on the couch, staring at his Guide. It was obvious from the older man’s face that he had heard and understood every word Blair had spoken to himself.

Silence reigned in the loft for a long time while the two men stared unblinkingly at each other. Finally, Jim stirred. The movement seemed to release Blair from his own paralysis. He groaned and made as if to seek sanctuary in his room.

Jim, jumping off the couch and advancing on Blair, at last found his voice. “Sandburg, wait! If you really do trust me, you’ll talk to me about this. We have to work it out.”

The desperate words, demanding and begging at the same time, caught Blair by surprise. Stumbling to a halt, he gave a squeaky laugh. “Trust? Of course I trust you, Jim. But how can you trust me after what you just heard? How?” Blair turned finally and looked at Jim. He seemed more confused than panicked now, and Jim smiled in relief.

“How can *you* trust *me* after I almost got us both killed tonight, Chief?”

Blair blinked at the nonsequiter. “I don’t see what that has to do with-”

“Just humour me here, OK? How can you still trust me after I screwed up so bad tonight?”

“You didn’t screw up, Jim! I did! You zoned because I wasn’t focussed on you enough to see what had happened to you until it was too late.”

“Well, as I remember it, I told you to stay in the truck, but you came in anyway. If you had listened to me, they would have caught me and killed me without a thought. I’m alive because you cared enough to come after me, and you thought quickly enough on your feet to come up with a plan to get us both out of there alive. So, I ask you again, how can you still trust me, Blair?” Jim’s eyes were intent, seeming by the force of his will to make Blair come to the correct conclusion.

“Everyone makes mistakes, man. God knows, I’ve made some doozies. And besides it’s easy to forgive you. Geez, I’m so in love with you, I’m just happy you’re alive. Nothing else matters, you know?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I *do* know.” With that pronouncement, Jim grabbed Blair’s hand. Pulling his partner closer, he whispered, “I *do* know,” and leaned down to kiss Blair.

End

**Author's Note:**

> Trust Me (This is Love)  
> D. McTaggart & D. Tyson
> 
> I look at this mountain, so many heartaches wide.  
> And I can’t help but wonder, where’s the other side?  
> I’ve got to be honest, I’ve got my doubts.  
> These tears are asking me, What’s this got to do with love.
> 
> Baby, I’ll tell you something to help us through this long dark night:
> 
> Chorus:  
> When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.  
> Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.  
> You and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.  
> It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby...this is love.
> 
> Love isn’t easy, I’m torn I confess.  
> When a heart is uncertain, it’s bound to second-guess.  
> This love won’t forsake us, so dry your tears, I promise you:
> 
> When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.  
> Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.  
> You and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.  
> It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby...this is love.
> 
> I’m here for you baby. There’s nothing I want more.  
> Our day is coming and we’ll reach that peaceful shore.
> 
> When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away.  
> Knowing that our love survived another test of faith.  
> Cause you and I can walk on water, the river rises, we rise above.  
> It may not look that way right now, but trust me, baby, this is love.
> 
> One more mountain; hey, so what?  
> Trust me baby, this is love. Oh yes it is baby.
> 
> Recorded by Amanda Marshall. Used without permission. Available on “Amanda Marshall”, Epic Records.


End file.
